What is intuitive parenting?
I believe in Intuitive Parenting. I believe it is the difference between just getting through each day and actually revelling in our parenting role. It’s the pathway to parenting with your head, heart and soul. Not just your head. It’s the way to help our children to be their whole, complete selves, and it’s how we can heal ourselves.
So what is Intuitive Parenting? I think Intuitive Parenting is best illustrated through this story. I’ve been sharing this story in my talks lately because I think it says so much about what we are capable of as parents, and how we are really the best person to be raising our children.
This may appear to be a simple story about toddler tantrums. But it’s much more than that.
This is a mum who is tapping into her parenting intuition to resolve an issue that had been challenging her and her daughter. This is how she describes it:
“I’m feeling like a crap mum right now. Even though I know better, I am getting into yelling matches with Miss two and a half where I yell things like ‘I’ve had enough of your crying!’
I’m basically not handling it very well at all.
Today I was in one such yelling match and I stopped, pulled her into a hug, and held her while we both cried.
I realised that when I was little and having tantrums I didn’t get hugged or held which is what I wanted and needed.
I feel like I have set up a pattern of behaviour where she yells and screams and pushes me away because I can’t cope with her big feelings.
And I don’t feel like I cope with my own big feelings because I was also pushed away when little.”
It’s very easy as a parent to just see the problem. The problem is that our child is having tantrums. If our child wasn’t having tantrums, then there would be no problem.
But it’s not that straight forward. Our child is having a problem and we are actually the perfect person to help. Why? Because we are part of the solution.
When our children behave in a really challenging way, we are often triggered. When we are triggered, we react. When we react, we tend to behave in not so helpful ways. We might yell or get angry or say something mean.
But when we open ourselves up to the power of Intuitive Parenting, we realise that our children are trying to help us to heal our triggers. They are offering us the opportunity to face that inner wound and transform it. How? By helping our children to deal with their issue.
Here is a mum who realised that she was being triggered by her daughter’s tantrum and that the reason she was being triggered was because of our own childhood wound. And that the way to help her daughter was also the way to help herself – with love.
Help your child – Heal yourself. This is powerful. This is Intuitive Parenting.
Next week, I’m going to share with you some Intuitive Parenting practices to get you on your way.