How to be an intuitive parent
Last week, I answered the question: What is Intuitive Parenting? This is it in a snapshot:
Help your child – Heal yourself
(This ain’t parenting as we know it. This is much more powerful).
This week, I want to help you with some intuitive parenting practices.
So how can you be an intuitive parent? By raising your children with your head, heart and soul. And not just your head.
In my free 7 day mini class, the Intuitive Parenting Blueprint, I go into more detail about the head, heart and soul of parenting.
But I’d like to share with you 3 key practices right here.
01 – YOUR PARENTING MINDSET
This is the head part of parenting. But it’s about parenting from a clear head space and with a helpful mindset so that we don’t get in the way of our own good parenting. I’ve talked before about the stories that go on inside our heads that tell us that our child should or shouldn’t be behaving a certain way. Most of the time these stories aren’t helpful. They get in the way of us actually guiding our children to behave in a more appropriate way. So what helps?
Creating a space in-between
This is a powerful mindset practice. It is about creating a gap between your child doing something and you doing something. Most of us react. Our child does something and we react instantly. There is no gap. But creating a space in-between opens up new possibilities. Instead of reacting, we can respond. That space in-between could be a breath. It could be walking away. It could be talking about what happened later once everyone has calmed down.
This is how one parent described the space in-between:
“Even just a few seconds of holding back on a reaction can have a significant effect. It’s amazing what happens in that space in-between. I consider my mindset, I consider alternative thoughts, and I also seem to be able to consider a larger variety of solutions. It makes me a more creative problem solver, more empathetic and thoughtful person.”
02 – YOUR PARENTING HEART
Most of us raise our children from our heads. But when we do, we’re overlooking a very powerful resource – our hearts. Our parenting hearts are what connects us with our children. It’s the loving bond that develops between us. It’s what encourages our children to listen and respect us and it’s what helps us to listen and respect them. So how can you use your parenting heart?
Many of us are very harsh critics of our own parenting. And we can also be harsh critics of our children. Kindness is the balm that can help us to help our children and ourselves. Instead of getting caught up in ‘shoulds’ and should nots’, we can use that space in-between to look at what’s happening through a lens of kindness.
You can ask yourself, ‘When I’m being loving and kind to my child, what do I see and what do I chose to do?’ You can also ask yourself, ‘When I’m being loving and kind to myself, what do I see and what do I choose to do?’
In our private Facebook group, we had this interesting discussion about second-guessing ourselves and not trusting ourselves. One parent put it this way:
“I’ve seen it so many times. You second guess yourself and you lose touch with your intuition through overthinking. Over-thinking is my super power! It is something I’ve been very good at. Now I’m trying to replace it with kindness to self and others.”
03 – YOUR PARENTING SOUL
We’re getting deeper into our parenting now. One step beyond the head and heart. We’ve got our parenting mindset on track, and we’re tapping into our loving energy. Now it’s time to invoke our parenting intuition. It’s that inner wisdom that we all have. It’s a ready resource that is always there. All we have to do is check in, listen, and then trust. This mum was definitely using her parenting intuition and that is why she experienced a breakthrough about her daughter’s tantrums. How can you tap into your parenting intuition?
This is one powerful practice. We often feel like we don’t have time for it. But I think we don’t have time not to do it. It is so important. It’s the difference between being pulled along by life and everything that is happening around us, and consciously and intentionally choosing a path through life. It’s about stopping for a moment and asking ourselves, ‘What’s my emotional state? How is my body feeling? What thoughts are running through my head? What’s going on for me right now?’
The more we check-in with ourselves, the more we are able to respond rather than react to what is happening around us, and the more attuned we become to our own triggers. Then the insights can appear. Then the inner wisdom can well up and guide us. It might not happen instantly. It might be something that develops over time. But we’ve all got intuitive abilities. We just need to use them. Regularly checking-in with ourselves is a good first step.
To me, Intuitive Parenting is about tapping into parenting’s hidden magic. We help our children and we heal ourselves. That is super powerful.